I had another post all ready to go, but I happened to see the following Google Adwords bon mot in my gmail account and I simply had to follow it along.

Steven Seagal’s own juices? Who could resist?

Join me, won’t you? I began the journey with this intriguing little ad (I’ve bolded certain phrases to represent my snarky commentary.)

Euwww #1

Steven Seagal’s Energy Drink
Taste the Power of Steven Seagal
www.Xoxide.com

Following along the click-through path to:

Euwww #2
Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink
You can read the entire page but in case you don’t, this is the click-through copy

Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink - Asian Experience
Steven Seagal’s very own energy drink. Be the first to taste his juices!

But wait, there’s more!

Euwww #3

If that doesn’t make you want to buy, click to the final order page here. Please, please, please read it for yourselves. I have included an excerpt from the page about the perils of cold weather purchases (and yes, this is a direct quote.):

Cold Weather Alert:
Due to the cold temperatures of the winter months, customers have been
experiencing exploding Bawls. We at Xoxide are very concerned for the
safety of our customers and do not wish for their Bawls to freeze. We
recommend that if the ambient temperature of your area is at or below
freezing, that you refrain from ordering carbonated caffeine beverages
during this time. Customers who wish to place orders for these products
may do so at their own risk. Neither Xoxide nor UPS will replace,
refund, or process any claims for broken Bawls, exploded Rocket Fuel,
or any other damaged beverage during this time. 

Sounds like that famous SNL holiday sketch with Alec Baldwin and his "Schwetty Christmas Balls."

This fine company also sells all manner of computer gear. I know I like to buy my energy drinks from the same folks I buy my cables from.

I have no neat wrap up or clever commentary, except this. You can’t buy Steven’s Seagal’s special juices because the damn thing is sold out.

Man, I LOVE the direct response business! :=)