I’ve been a long-time supporter of Planned Parenthood (no mail, please.) As such I get the usual constant flutter of direct mail appeals. Recently, I got two differing packages and said to myself, “Aha, they’re doing some testing.”

I thought it might be fun to compare the envelope teaser and headline and invite you to comment on which approach is more effective. (I have no idea whether I received the current control so we’ll just assume these are two tests.)

Both are #10 packages, 2 color, live stamped standard mail

PACKAGE 1/right window

Teaser:
They’re coming after our organization with everything they’ve got.
But, you know what worries us most?

Letter/Johnson Box:
In communities all across America, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, our affiliates, and their more than 800 health centers are a respected, highly valued part of the social fabric.

We touch millions of people’s lives every year - delivering education and essential health care services - often reaching those who, without Planned Parenthood, would have no place to turn.

It’s that vibrant reality - the daily positive experience of thousands of women, men, and teens - that makes it so hard for our opponents to caricature or vilify Planned Parenthood.

But believe me, it doesn’t stop them from trying.

PACKAGE #2/Left Window

Teaser:
It Could Happen to YOU.

Letter/Johnson Box:

“I don’t believe in what you’re doing,” the pharmacist said.

“No I’m not going to help you.”

“Could you step aside so I can help the next person?”

Julee stood in front of the pharmacy counter and shook her head in the disbelief. A small-town schoolteacher, married with two small children, she had come to her local drugstore with a very simple request.

Like millions of women, she wanted to fill her birth control prescription - the same prescription she’d been filling month after month. But to her amazement, something different happened that day.

The pharmacist on duty refused to fill her prescription. She told Julee she “did not personally believe in birth control.”

Remember, these appeals were sent to a PP supporter, someone already on board with the mission.

My take? I find the pharmacist refusal story stronger since it focuses squarely on a specific reproductive health issue that any woman in America could relate to, especially since doctors many times prescribe BCP for reasons other than simple birth control. The teaser, though, is weak and could use a little beefing up. I would have written something like:

Learn why your local pharmacist may not want you, your daughter or your mother as a customer any more. Prepare to be enraged.

Okay, your turn. What works, what doesn’t and what might you write differently?

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[tags] copywriting for non-profits, direct mail fundraising, writing direct mail for not-for-profit organizations, donor appeals [/tags]