photo credit: Roomic Cube

You’d be surprised what I find in my email box every day and every week.

I subscribe to several kinds of business and personal newsletters, many of which sell stuff. Those are the emails I especially read to be inspired and occasionally swipe (ethically, of course) a new idea or two.

A week or so ago, I received an email about some sort of ”Get the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted” information product. Normally I gloss over those but this one got my attention before I hit the delete key.

It talked about a Tony Robbins quote (I’ve never read his books, but I’ve seen him on TV. He’s very tall.) Here’s the quote:

“There are two kinds of motivation. There is “away from” motivation, and there is “toward” motivation.”

Now that, in and of itself, isn’t all that new. I’ve known about, used, and even blogged about the “avoid pain/seek pleasure” motivational response for a long time. I’ve also known and yes, blogged to the point that “avoiding pain” tends to be far more powerful than its positive twin on the motivational spectrum.

But this email – well written, by the way – went another step further to define the characteristics of pain avoiders. 

• The further away they get from a threat, the less motivation they feel. If the threat can be neutralized or diminished, the motivational response to act diminishes, as well.
• Avoiders are more focused on getting AWAY from the scary thing that they don’t think about what they actually do want.

So, using the example of the “Get the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted” product – our lonelyheart will be less motivated by finding the right person for him/her as long as #2 will do and most motivated when they’ve been dumped and facing “table for one” singleness once again.

The primary motivator of “away from” person may be the negative experience, but there are two ways our avoiders (and frankly, that’s most of us) will respond.

• They’ll act when the situation is at its painful worst.
• They’ll act when the situation is just beginning to get painful.

Even though most of us will wait for the painful worst – since we hate and fear change most of all – we admire those who act quickly when things are just beginning to go awry. We’d all like to be that smart.

As copywriters and marketers how do we use this?

I think we offer sympathy/empathy in our copy for the ones who wait until things are at their worst. We are them and they are us. Then we make those same prospects feel smart and hopeful because they’re getting the opportunity to act before it’s TOO late – even if they’re still acting to avoid pain!

So using our same example, we can write copy about “No More Losers in Your Life!” which is the negative flip of “You CAN FindThe Guy/Gal That’s Right for You.”

How about a fun Friday headline challenge?

Write a quick postive/negative motivation head for your own “Better Relationships Now” program and share in the comments below. Let’s see what you and other Mavenettes can dream up. I know I’ll be learning (and swiping) and encourage you to do the same.