Spam Funnies: If you gave a gold fish a bigger instrument …
By Roberta Rosenberg on Jun 4, 2009 in Spam Jam
photo credit: SDCDeaCerte
Directly from my spam filter. Every word guaranteed genuine authentic.
Subj Head:
“If you had a gold fish, you would ask for a bigger instrument.”
Text:
“Don’t miss your chance to become a real macho and by that we mean increasing your male dimensions. As nothing adds more masculinity to his style as decent size in his pants.”
“A decent size in his pants.” Absolutely.
TC/Copywriter Underground | Jun 4, 2009 | Reply
Wait. Do golfish even wear pants?
TC/Copywriter Underground’s last blog post..The Harmonic Convergence of Overwork (or, Overload in the Age of Overload)
Roberta Rosenberg | Jun 4, 2009 | Reply
Only in Warner Brother cartoons. (Didn’t you ever wonder why Porky always wore a hat and jacket but no pants? I know I did.)
Gina | Jun 5, 2009 | Reply
Wait. Am I just really tired? Or have I crossed a line?
It’s now a trouser goldfish? I thought it was a trouser trout. If you have a trouser goldfish maybe this ad will really appeal to you (sense of scarcity maybe?)
But then why not draw exactly that analogy?
“Do you want a trouser goldfish or a trouser trout? Don’t swim with the minnows, we’ve got just what you need….”
Well ok it’s pretty tacky. But it’s WAY better than “decent size in your pants”. Maybe women should use that as a pickup line, “Hey bud, do you have a decent size in your pants?”
OK. I’m sorry.
Roberta Rosenberg | Jun 5, 2009 | Reply
“Don’t swim with the minnows.” I love that!
I happen to LOVE male enhancement spam, especially those obviously written by folks for whom English is a second or third language. The euphemisms alone are worth the price.
Of course, I invariably lose a few Maven readers. That does make me a little sad. But for those who know how much I simply love language, thanks for hanging in.