There’s a wonderful line in the movie The Devil Wears Prada where the Stanley Tucci character, an executive at the Vogue-like fashion magazine, eyeballs the Anne Hathaway character and says to her (paraphrasing),

“Size 6? I don’t think we’ll have anything in the [samples] closet for you … especially since 6 became the new 2 and 2 became the new 0.”

Now imagine, for a moment, men’s clothing starting at size 0. I can’t since I’m quite sure, they’d all want to start at Large, if not Extra-Large … at least in the right context.

At 53, I deserve pretty, well-constructed and well-designed clothes that fit right, even when they cost a little or sometimes a lot more. That’s fine by me. I’m also a gal, shall we say, who’s built on a little on the plush and plenty side. That’s fine by me, too. So when I buy a item listed as something more than medium, I generally understand what size range that entails.

Until today. Perusing one of my favorite online vendors, I found an item I liked. I checked the sizing for XL. The equivalent was a US ladies size 12.

Size 12? An XL? Where was I when this happened?

For years that meant medium. Over the last decade 12 became large and some designers decided to not even make clothing for women larger than size 12 and relegated them to the backwaters of the women’s sizes and plus-size ranks.

Marilyn Monroe at the height of her hot blond allure was a curvy size 14.

Can you imagine MM buying her clothes at Lane Bryant? No, me either.

As a copywriter, I wonder how I would spin this unfortunate and unfair turn of events that would still appeal to those now rotund 12s without making the rest of us - like most US women - feel, oh I don’t know - gargantuan? I don’t think I’m talented enough to make this all sound lively and “too much fun.”

Frankly, it makes me want to crack open a nice box of Mallomars and take a nice long drag on a Virginia Slims cigarette.

I tell my students that their messages will always be received and interpreted through the lens of the prospect’s experience and deepest desires/fears. I’m strong and self-confident enough to tell a retailer to stuff it and take my business elsewhere. But even I felt hurt and even a little abused when I saw 12=XL.

I especially think about the girls my daughter’s age who are still figuring out who they are within the stranglehold of adolescent self-absorbed self-consciousness. What message does it send - Hi, Girlfriend! Looking for a great outfit? Who isn’t. But wait, you’re a size 12? Whoa, see you on that show, Biggest Loser, loser.”

Talk about taking the pipe - why not serve a heaping spoonful of anxiety and a big wet dollop of self-loathing as that little something extra?

I am not my dress size, but there’s no way that size 12=XL in any universe I live in … and I mean any.

• Enjoyed this post? Get free updates by email or RSS
• Need a copy critique or a consult? Contact the Maven
• The ultimate guide to writing and designing effective landing pages - Marketing Sherpa’s Landing Page Handbook, 2008 (aff)

[tags] body image, women’s clothing sizes, consumer expectation, lingerie sizing, adolescent angst [/tags]

Which leads me to this video clip from “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader” - and yes, for the record, I am.

Now, I am NOT a mean-spirited person by nature. I understand how folks can be limited for all sorts of reasons, but this? Well, see this clip of a grown-up woman person strutting her complete lack of stuff for all the world to see on. (You might have seen smaller clips, but here’s the full “I thought Europe was a country” Kellie Pickler, brought to you via Israel in honor of the 7th - are we done yet - day of Hanukkah!

“Hungary? I know they speak French there … “

• Enjoyed this post? Get free updates by email or RSS
• Need a copy critique or a consult? Contact the Maven
• The ultimate guide to writing and designing effective landing pages, Marketing Sherpa’s Landing Page Handbook, 2008 (aff)

No Technorati tags today. I couldn’t bear ‘em

Brother gets a call and is invited to do a presentation for a group of social studies teachers in a NYC middle school. Brother comes in and prepares his presentation which, because my brother likes to be timely, includes some patter on the current events unfolding in Pakistan and map of the region.

A little show, a little tell, and presentation is over and well-received. As Brother is packing his case up, one of the social studies teachers approaches him and remarks what an effective presentation it was.

“Thank you,” says Brother. “I thought it was important to use the crisis in Pakistan as an example of bringing current events to the teaching of geography with your students.”

“What’s going on in Pakistan?” inquired Teacher.

“???” thought Brother. “The constitutional crisis, democracy up ended, the jailing of the lawyers and judges, riots in the streets?” responded Brother.

“Really? I wasn’t aware.” said Teacher.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. We’re all going to hell and taking civilization and our kids along with us. The barbarians are truly at the gates.

• Enjoyed this post? Get free updates by email or RSS
• Need a copy critique or a consult? Contact the Maven
• The ultimate guide to writing and designing effective landing pages, Marketing Sherpa’s Landing Page Handbook, 2008 (aff)

[tags] middle school social studies, pakistan, geography, hellbound [/tags]

I know. Not quite what you expected as my first post after my blogging hiatus - the cash $$$ work was keeping me hopping. But this is what I saved to share with you. As a direct marketing copywriter, I don’t want to send a single email or snail mail letter to anyone who isn’t even remotely interested in what I have to sell or promote. I’ll spend hours, even days pouring over directories, data sheets to help my clients find precisely the right prospects, folks who are perfectly poised and ready to respond.

Then I get email that reads like this.

So no matter how poetic I wax about the good work we do in direct marketing, the millions we help raise for national and local charities, for universities and hospitals, we are lumped in with the bottom-feeders who shovel millions of emails like this into our spam filters.

No wonder real direct mail is making a comeback. It gets delivered and it gets read, probably more now than ever.

Ok, rant over. Glad to be back among my copy and marcomm peers and peeresses. So, how much have y’all missed me?

• Enjoyed this post? Get free updates by email or RSS
• Need a copy critique or a consult? Contact the Maven
• Get a free subscription to Website Magazine (aff)

[tags] spam, email, direct mail, copywriting, copywriters [/tags]

The United States is at war, but you wouldn’t know it from the front page of today’s New York Times.

When you’re done with the blog post, check out the comment which includes the entire article and then ask yourself, “What’s wrong with this picture?”

• Enjoyed this post? Get free updates by email or RSS
• Need a copy critique or a consult? Contact the Maven
• Get a free subscription to Website Magazine (aff)

[tags] enpassant.com, the new york times, the hamptons. going straight to hell [/tags]