The Copywriting Maven

photo credit: didbygraham
I love checking my blog comment spam filter.
Usually it’s filled with flattering, flowery prose about my creativity, good looks and other naughty bits. I feel so validated every morning, not just as a writer but as a human being.
I didn’t think much about the first effort, written on behalf of a weight [...]

photo credit: Firesam!
I saw this in my ‘Pending Crap Comment” folder. If you’ve ever wondered about crafting a crap comment of your own, here’s a working template for you. (All words guaranteed genuine true.)
Comment:
{hi|hello|howdy|greetings|
gooday} there, i just {stumbled|came across|discovered|found|saw} your {blog|website|site|web portal} via {google|yahoo|bing}, and i must say that you write {exceptionally|pretty|interestingly|awesomely} {well|good} on [...]

photo credit: SDCDeaCerte
Directly from my spam filter. Every word guaranteed genuine authentic.
Subj Head:
“If you had a gold fish, you would ask for a bigger instrument.”
Text:
“Don’t miss your chance to become a real macho and by that we mean increasing your male dimensions. As nothing adds more masculinity to his style as decent size in [...]

photo credit: Torley
I’ve been working since 5:30 am and I haven’t had near enough coffee yet, so of course I found this email subject head intriguing and totally hilarious.

Your pants will be in order all the time.

I don’t know about you, but I worry about this kind of stuff every damn day.

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photo credit: apdk
This little missive managed to evade my usually efficient gmail spam filters. The only thing I’ve changed is the name.
hello
My name is jessy.
I saw your structure today
and became intrested in you, I shall like to know also you more, and
I want, that you have sent e-mail to my e-mail address, thus I [...]